By Jessica Pope
When Shirley E. Porter of Hahira married Frank L. Carter Sr. of Valdosta on Christmas Eve of 1974 at the Lowndes County Courthouse, she promised to love, honor and cherish him ... and to have a huge church wedding in the very near future. Wearing a traditional white dress and having pews filled with family and friends was a childhood dream she was not willing or ready to let go of at the age of 19.
Shirley finally got her dream wedding ceremony some three-plus decades later. Two days shy of the couple’s 33rd wedding anniversary, she and Frank renewed their vows before 225 or so of their loved ones and friends at New Birth Church Ministries, a church they both founded in the summer of 2007 on North Forrest Street in Valdosta and he leads as pastor, she as assistant pastor.
Growing up in Hahira, Shirley, now 52, was raised in a somewhat strict household. She was not really allowed to date as a teenager and probably never would have spoken two words to Frank were it not for special fifth Sunday services at church. She did not even acknowledge him in the halls of Lowndes High School, where they both attended, preferring instead to simply hang with her girlfriends, gossip and giggle.
“She acted like she did not know who I was,” the now 55-year-old shared. “But I certainly knew who she was. I had seen her around school more than a few times.”
Frank graduated with his diploma from Lowndes High School in 1971, and Shirley followed in 1973. The two did not encounter each other again until he, a member of Mount Carmel Holiness Church in Valdosta, visited Brown’s Chapel in Hahira, where she was a member, for a fifth Sunday meeting. For him, it was always love at first sight.
“I have to admit that I just liked everything about her, everything I saw,” he said. “She was perfect in every way.”
Having summoned all of his courage, Frank, who was 21 at the time, made an effort that Sunday to talk to Shirley. However, he was met with laughter.
“I could not get her to be serious for one minute that day,” he said of the then 18-year-old. “I tried to talk to her a bit, and she just laughed a lot.”
In an effort to get to know her better, Frank often rode a Greyhound bus from Valdosta to Hahira to see her. The trip cost him $2 each time he made it but was worth every penny. On their first date, the couple visited the Lowndes County Fair.
“We dated for about six months,” she added. “He then asked me to marry him.”
“I got down on one knee at her mother’s house in Hahira,” he said. “She looked at me for a moment, giggled and told me to get up. She did not think I was serious.”
“I hesitated for a moment,” she continued. “Then I looked at him and said, ‘I guess so.’ Six months later, (on December 24, 1974) we were married at the Lowndes County Courthouse.”
“We had to do it that way for financial reasons,” he explained. “Neither of our families could afford a big wedding. The whole thing cost us $12.”
Frank and Shirley wore green two-piece suits for the ceremony. Her mother was her only attendant. He had a cousin and two friends at his side. All of the photographs taken on that day have been lost over the years.
As a young newlywed couple on their own, Frank and Shirley struggled to make a living in Valdosta during the 1970s and 1980s. She initially worked eight months as a cashier at McDonald’s then went to work for Levi Straus as a button hole operator, a position she maintained for 13 years before taking up childcare. He worked at Dowling Bag Company for 14 years, started his own side business known as Carter’s Lawn Service and entered the ministry as a pastor, first at Shady Grove Missionary Baptist Church for 17 years followed by five years at Bray’s Temple Missionary Baptist Church. The couple had three sons — Frank L. Carter Jr., now 32, Michael Tyrone Carter, now 30, and Derrick Laron Carter, now 27. All of this forced them to put their dream church wedding on hold, year after year.
“Being married in God’s house is something my wife has always dreamed, prayed and wished for,” he said. “Whenever we would attend or (officiate) the weddings of other people, my wife would lean over and whisper during the ceremony, ‘One day we will have our big church wedding.’”
“I would see those girls so beautiful in their white dresses and think, ‘Someday that will be me,’” she added.
“It became my mission to make her dreams come true,” he continued.
Shirley said that it was her two daughters-in-law, Kelley Carter and Michelle Carter, who helped her plan the wedding of her dreams. Her best friend, Annie McClendon, served as her matron of honor. His friend, Lloyd Pringle, served as his best man. Their grandson, Michael Carter Jr., 17 months, was the ring bearer, and one of their two godsons, 30-year-old Shaun Cox, designed the invitations.
Unlike the Lowndes County Courthouse wedding, Shirley was able to have a bridal shower, given by 40 or so of her friends, and was able to shop til she dropped for a perfect white wedding dress to wear during the December 22, 2007, church ceremony. Frank and their sons all wore tuxedos.
“I walked down the aisle of our church and every single person in there was watching me,” she said.
“When I first saw her in that dress, I was frozen in my tracks,” he said. “It was a dream come true. The whole thing felt like a dream.”
After the ceremony, Frank and Shirley celebrated the renewal of their vows and their commitment to each other with a reception at Music Hall in Lake Park, a little dancing and lots of soul food.
“If I was younger, I might have tried the spinning on the back dance,” he joked.
Frank and Shirley decided to remain out of town, returning to their home on Christmas Eve, the day of their original wedding anniversary. They left on January 10 for a real honeymoon on Jekyll Island.
“Our dream wedding brought our marriage back alive,” she said.
“It feels like a new start,” he added. “It’s as if my energy has been renewed. I want to get out of the house more and do things with her. It’s almost as if we are newlyweds again. It makes me happy to know she is happy. We are truly living a miracle.”
Frank and Shirley have a second godson, Chadd Carter, 25, and a granddaughter, Brianna Roberts, 12. They are expecting another grandson in April. Away from New Birth Church Ministries, she works as a substitute teacher. He continues to own and operate Carter’s Lawn Service.
